It's January!

 It's the middle of January in central California. It's time to start working in my garden again. But, I don't know if I can bring myself to do it. Depression is trying to hold me back again. I know that if I just go out there and start doing stuff, that I will feel better. But, there is so much to do, that doesn't involve planting pretty flowers, that I am procrastinating.

But, the place is a mess, and I need to just go out there and do it.

 This month's list of yard chores:

1. Use my brother-in-law's leaf blower to clean up the cobwebs and leaves, and then return it to him.
2. Rake up the dead leaves and move them to the compost pile.
3. Weed the beds.
4. Finish filling the beds with top soil.
5. Gather all the pots to the front porch, and fill with potting soil.
6. Plant the bulbs (that should have been planted last month)!
7. Trim the tree branches for a prettier tree this year.
8. Clear out the shed completely, and let it air out.
9. Move Bear, Motley, Jon, and Sarah's stuff to the shed.
10. Move the extra furniture to the shed.
11. Rearrange the Solarium for better access to the garden tools and woodworking projects.
12. Borrow or rent a ladder to clean out the gutters.
13. Prep the side yard for planting.
14. Screw down the railing on the front porch.
15. Put a sign on the front steps to direct people to the back door.

Productive Insomnia

My day was great! Even though I went to bed after midnight, and I usually need a lot more sleep, I woke up early at 7:30am, for some reason. Crazy. I talked to some friends on IRC about car engines, bio-diesel, and why the gasoline has mysteriously not turned to turpentine in post-apocalyptic shows and movies. And, then I got dressed up nice. (I even tried putting a small amount of make-up on.) And, then I went out to pick up job applications from the hotels near my house. Lots of walking.

In one of the hotels, I ran into someone I used to work with up in the Park a few years ago. He was, and still is, dating one of the girls who worked with me in the Pizza Parlor. (My favourite co-worker, actually.) So, that was cool. I found out that they moved to town, and she is working at a store really close. We talked for maybe two minutes before I left, so that he could get back to work. And, I gave him my number and address, so that we could keep in touch.

Some of the people just handed me the application, but some of them were really friendly and welcoming. They let they let me know who was responsible for the hiring, and if they knew of any openings. I even got to talk with a few managers right there on the spot.

I picked up nine applications, and then walked over to Wendy's, so that I could fill them out and grab a sandwich. I ended up staying there for an hour and a half. I listened to the music on my phone while looking up some of the phone numbers and addresses. Then, I dropped off the one I had completed, to the place where it seemed like I had the best chance of getting hired, and then walked over to the Marshalls to look for some sheets.

It was getting a bit windy by that point, and it looked like it might start raining, so I asked Andi to pick me up after work. I almost regretted not bringing my jacket, hat, and gloves, but it worked out. Andi took me for a quick stop at Walgreen's, and then to Taco Bell for drive-thru. When we got back to the trailer, I was about 15 minutes late for the Admin Meeting in my gaming clan. But, that worked out alright, too, because the couple that founded the group were about 20 minutes later than I was.

We talked about the clan business for about 2 hours, and bullshitted a little. Then, I edited and posted the Minutes, and played on the server until 7:30 this morning. Had a blast. I still haven't been to sleep, yet. And, I am thinking of staying up until I get the rest of the apps filled out. I might even try to walk down and drop them off before I go to bed. Or, I might go brush my teeth right now, and go to sleep. I cannot really tell what my body wants to do once I go this long without sleeping.

I don't have any plans with anyone for today. And, that is one of the things that usually keeps me awake for long periods of time. In fact, last weekend I was awake for 37 hours straight. I had to be awake by 5pm on Saturday and Sunday, in order to help out my folks while they were camping at the Kearney Renaissance Festival.

On Friday, I went to bed around 9:00pm, but I woke up at 2:30am on Saturday, and I couldn't go back to sleep. I got out to the park at 6:30pm, drove my parents to the nearby Denny's for dinner, and dropped them off again. And, I really didn't feel sleepy again until about 1:30 Sunday afternoon. But, by then, I didn't really feel like I had enough time to go to sleep. I managed to stay awake until 3:30pm, but then I had to take a nap.

Garden Depression

I'm certain that plenty of gardeners out there have experienced garden depression before. Whether it is from the deer eating most of the vegetables before they even get started, or the early frost that rots out the squash, or the pesky pets who cannot resist the temptation of a freshly planted bed of soft soil, we have all thought about throwing in the towel.

We all know what it is like to look at the mess of a ruined garden and still be painfully aware of what that garden was going to become. The visions of what was to be haunt us as we look at the work that must be redone. And, we wonder if the risk, labour, and expense are really worth it.

I am feeling this low, right now, and I am finding it very hard to want to go out into the garden. (Of course, I can't go out right now, anyway, because of my problems with my neck and shoulder. But, I don't even feel the desire to go look at it.) Maybe, I should just get a hardy ground cover to cover the whole yard, and be done with it. Maybe, I should pay someone else to take care of it when I am feeling this bad. (Oh, if only I could afford that option.)

I'd totally help some out by putting a few extra bucks in their pocket in exchange for some help in the yard. But, my current budget is next to nil, and I need to be saving my money for replacing the engine on my car, and for helping to pay the property taxes on my folks' home. And, my current income is unemployment benefits that are about to run out. So, spending anything on the garden right now would not be prudent.

Anyway...
... I am still trying to decide if I really want to post any pictures of my failed garden efforts. If I decide to share them, they will be added below the line.

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[-- Nope. No photos, yet. --]

Back in Town

For the last few days, my neck and back have been in pretty bad shape. Currently, I cannot turn my head very far to the left. I've been trying to sleep, and rest as much as possible. So, my erratic sleep schedule is messed up even more right now. I woke up at 10:30 pm tonight.

I am still trying to get things organized around my place, but it is going very slow. So, no parties any time soon, for me. I have to get better, and finish my chores first. There is a lot to do around here, and no one else is going to do it for me.

Updating my blogs and journals is something I have been putting off. I got hired back at my summer job on short notice. They needed the help because people at work were still shaken up by the car accident that took the lives of two of the kitchen staff. (That is a whole issue on it's own, and I don't know if I am ready to get into that.) Some people quit, and some of the others were having troubles dealing with their positions, so the management decided to move a few people around to see if that helped to ease some of the tensions. And, I got re-hired.

I've been gone (up in the mountains) for the last three months. And, my garden has fallen to ruins. I managed to squeeze in enough time to re-pot several of the plants that had just started to take root, and take them up to my mom's house. The rest (mostly ground covers and vines) had to struggle through a very hot summer without proper attention. A miscommunication between Andi and me led to the watering schedule having much longer intervals than needed, so almost everything has died.

Even the honeysuckle is struggling to hang in there. (Heh, it's a vine: All it does is hang, and climb, and hang some more.)

Feeling Ramped about the Garden

This morning was the Pride Parade in Fresno. Andy went, and said it was great, even though it was hot. I wanted to go, but I was too tired.

Maybe an hour after Andy left, Bob came a knocking. Well, actually, he rang the bell. And, it couldn't have been at a worse time. It's one of my great fears, and it's come to pass a few times already: I'm home alone, sitting on the toilet, in the middle of doing my business, and someone is at the door. Argh!

Anyway, Bob is the neighbor who sold us the trailer. He and his wife live on the other side of the park from us. They are both probably in their 80's. And, when he was showing us the place, he said that if we were going to pull out the ramp, that they'd want to buy it. So, last weekend, he came by to talk about it again. He said that his kids would be visiting, and they would help him move it. And, he offered us $50.

It's probably worth more than that in scrap metal, but it's welded together. I don't have a way to tear it up, nor a vehicle that could haul it (whole or in pieces). Besides, I feel like it'd be a shame to tear up something that is still so useful. And, they really needed it. His wife had been injured right before we moved in. So, passing it on to them was the right thing to do.

Getting to them was another matter. And, even though his son-in-law was joking about the agreed upon price not including delivery fees, they took care of the whole thing. I did help a little, but that was my choice. Moving it out from underneath our awning was the hard part. It was about four feet longer than the distance between the support columns, and there was no room to pivot because the building was right next to the ramp.

We figured that either the ramp was put in place before the awning was installed, or the ramp was built on the spot. They brought along a furniture dolly and a hand truck which helped a lot. But, the only way to get it out was to back the whole thing up to the end of the trailer, back by the swap cooler, and then pivot from there. Then they had to pick it up, and carry it over the old garden bed. By the time they got it that far, they decided to just keep going all the way to the road.

They loaded it onto the ten foot trailer behind their pick-up truck. I could see that it was a bit of a strain to lift the front of the ramp up over the front wall of the trailer, but once that was done, and they secured the chain around it, they were ready to go. The last two feet were hanging off the back end of the trailer, but at least they didn't have far to go.

It is quite amazing how much roomier the yard feels. It was only 30 inches (76 cm), but it seems bigger because the patio went from being four feet wide to seven feet wide. There's enough room to put a chair or two, and maybe a little table.

Updates

Okay, it's been a while since I last updated this. Things have been a little crazy, and it always seems to be right before bed when I think about posting here. But, by then my brain is so tired that I have a hard time formulating my thoughts in a coherent manner. Perhaps posting when I first wake up is a better solution. That is when I am processing the events of the previous day, thinking about my dreams, and making my plans for the coming day. Anyway, we'll see if it works.

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Garden Update:
Several of the plants we bought are doing well. The Alyssum, Scotch Moss, Blue Ageratum, Calibrachoa, Verbena, and Ajuga have been establishing themselves, and spreading out.

The status of the Sago Palm that Andy's sister gave us is still up in the air. It's leaves are showing some yellowing, and that has me concerned. I thought, perhaps I was watering it too often, so I have slowed down on that. And, my grandma brought over some polished river rocks, so I added a stone mulch to the planter.

The Erysimum, Ranunculus, and some of the suculents are dead or dying. I think that was due to watering them with the wrong frequencies, or planting them in the wrong soil or pot. I am going to try again, but I'll have to change things up a bit to figure it out.

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Health Update:
Around the same time that I found out that I am allergic to penicillin, I also started noticing an odd shaped rash. It started out really small, and only in two places (my inner left thigh and my right arm pit) so I didn't pay much attention to it at first. Looked like pimples at the beginning, but they never formed a head.

Instead, the redness just spread out until in formed a slight ring shape. So, my next thought was that it could be ringworm (a fungus related to athlete's foot), but I have had that on my arm as a child. It was itchy, highly contagious, and formed raised bumps in a complete circle. This rash was not itchy, not raised, and the shape more resembled an eye or an almond with two pointed ends.

What's more was even though it was spreading around my body (like it was contagious) it was not spreading in a logical manner for ringworm. In other words, the spots were not near each other, nor did it seem to be spread to places that my fingers regularly touched. Instead, it was sprinkled across my abdomen with a couple located on the backs of my lower thighs. Other clues that it was not ringworm was that the anti-fungal cream was having no affect, and Andy had no signs of it whatsoever.

Since I have no health insurance, going to the Urgent Care clinics costs $100. per visit, and going to the E.R. was out of the question (because I cannot pay for their exorbitant bills, so it would just go to collections, and further ruin my credit rating), so I searched the internet for possible causes of this rash.

That was scary. The best match to my symptoms seemed to indicated the impending failure of my lymphatic system, due to the long untreated pin worm infestation I have. Now, you might think that I am over reacting, and sounding like a hypochondriac, but I do, or at least did, have pin worms. I saw live, wriggling worms on three separate occasions, and have not had the $370. for the lab testing that my previous doctor ordered, so she would not give me the medicine to get rid of them. In fact, I was only able to afford the initial visit to that doctor because soon after that, my boss had a nervous breakdown, fired everybody, and closed the business.

So, when I found out that there was going to be a free health fair last weekend, I made sure that I could go get this checked out. And, I am so glad that I did. Not only did I find out about a low cost health clinic where I can get testing and treatment for the worms, I also got a diagnosis and prescription for the rash. Soon after I started talking with the doctor, he arranged for us and a nurse to step into one of the private rooms, so that I could lift my shirt, and he could see the extent of it. Immediately, he asked if I had a recent reaction to penicillin, and said that was the cause. Whew! Such a relief.

What's more, Andy finally convinced me to schedule an appointment with the dentist. So, yesterday I had that infected tooth removed. We were going to pick up the new antibiotics last night, but I was too tired, and I fell asleep soon after eating my ice cream. So, we'll probably pick those up tonight when Andy gets back from work. Here's hoping that I am not also allergic to clindamycin. The doctor said that it was not related to penicillin, but that there is still a chance that I will have a reaction to it, as well. So, I have to closely monitor my condition.

Garden - Remix

Andy took me to Fresno Ag (a local hardware store) where we got some more soil, and a few more plants. I think that we'll go back there for more plants soon. They had a good selection, and they had some stuff I hadn't seen yet. They have good prices, too. We got three 6-packs for $2.59 each, and the 2 cubic feet bag of soil for $6.59.

New plants:

Sweet Alyssum (Easter Bonnet Violet)

Scotch Moss (Sagina subulata 'Aurea')

Blue Ageratum (Hawaii Royal)

Andy also helped me build a new bed at the very front of our yard. It looks really nice, so I hope that it works to collect the water rather than funnel it into the neighbors' yard.

We put the most of the Alyssum in the new front bed, but we put one by the rock outcropping in towards the back fence. That is also where we put all of the scotch moss, and the lobelia that we bought earlier. (I kind of forgot about planting the lobelia, and it's looking "iffy", now, so it might not make it.) We split the Ageratum between the front bed and the rocks. And, everything we just put in is a ground cover, so they shouldn't take much maintenance.